Me Without You
by SnowflakeGinny
Summary: When Harry left he left behind him a very ill Ginny. now that he's back he has to deal with the pain and pick up the pieces but can he or is it too late? sad fic. mentions of suicide attampte. HPGW.
1. The Day We Parted

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

**A/N:** I had my try in angst with RW/HG ship but I really want to have an angst/tragedy fic about Harry and Ginny, kind of a sick wish from my behalf. So I hope you'd like it…so here it goes…

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Chapter One

The Day We Parted

Her eyes were tears stricken. Her hair was wet from the rain and so were her clothes. She stood at the entrance to a small yet cozy bedroom. She made a movement and the man that was standing with his back to her jump and turned around.

"You really are going to do this?" her voice was hoarse from crying and the lump in her throat wasn't helping either. "You're really leaving?"

"It something that I have to do." he turned back to the folded shirts on his bed and placed them one by one in the trunk beside it. He turned to her again and saw her tears pouring down her cheeks. "Please try and understand me, Ginny, I can't give up on something like that. It's a once in a life time opportunity."

"I love you." she choked on her words and watched him freeze and turning to face her. "Don't go I love you."

"Ginny you're upset you don't know what you're talking about." He walked over to where she was standing and looked down at her. "I told you I can't change this."

"I love you, Harry." she raised her hands and cupped his cheeks. "I love you, so much." She pulled him down to her and brushed her lips on his. "I love you." She tried to kiss him again but he took her hands away from his face.

"Please Ginny-"

"Tell me you love me Harry. I know you do. We're not _just friends_ we share something. We have a bond! We love each other. You love me and I love you." She looked at him with panicked eyes and kept crying. "Tell me you love me."

"Don't do this Ginny."

"You love me I know you do. You love so much that you won't leave. You'll stay here in England with me and we'll love each other forever and we'll have children and grow old." He stared at her with awe and felt his mouth dry. "Go on then, tell me you love me."

"I can't do this to you Ginny; I don't want to hurt you." She shook her head violently and smiled at him.

"You can never hurt me, Harry, you love me and you will never hurt me. And I will never get hurt by you-"

"You already are Ginny; I'm hurting you right now!"

"Were like in our song you that Harry? You don't understand what I'm telling you. Remember our song?" she didn't wait for him to answer and began to sing in a sad voice. "Michelle, ma belle. These are words that go together well, my Michelle." She smiled at him and whipped the tears from her cheeks and looked at Harry with shinning eyes. "Michelle, ma belle. Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, Très bien ensemble."

"Stop Ginny! Enough! I have to go!" he took a hold of her arms and shook her violently.

"NO! You can't leave! You said you loved me! Why are you doing this to me?" she fell out of his grasp and on to the ground and rocked. "Why don't you love me, Harry?"

With that question Harry fell to the ground and set next to Ginny. He wrapped his arms around her and Ginny snuggled to his chest.

"Don't leave me. Don't go Harry. I love you so much I'll give you anything you want. Anything. Just don't leave me." she cried and Harry stroked her hair and rocked with her on the floor. "I can't live without you. There's no me without you."

"Its okay, Gin." He reassured her and felt his own eyes give in to tears. "It will all be okay." He knew this would happen as soon as he declared his intentions to leave England. Ron told him that Ginny was ill but he didn't know that it was this bad. "Do you want to here our song?" he felt her nod and heard her sob silently and happily. "I love you, I love you, I love you. That's all I want to say. Until I find a way I will say the only words I know that you'll understand." He cried as he saw that she was fast asleep and he whipped his face with the sleeves of his jumper. He lifted himself up and held Ginny in his hands and laid her on his bed.

He finished packing quietly and wrote a quick note and left it on the bedstead. He kissed her temple one more time before he took his trunk and walked out of the room and apparted away.

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**A/N:** love it? Hate it? Want more? If so then click that purplish little button to your left and REVIEW!

**_SnowFlakeGinny! _**


	2. No News Is Good News

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: thank you so much for the reviews. I'm sorry I'm not thanking individually but didn't had the time because I want to move foreword with the story as fast as I can.

oh and by the way, **Liela** or what ever your name is if you hate it then don't read..thank you and have a nice day.

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Chapter Two

No News Is Good News

Three years. It has been three years since he stepped out of this small and now dusty bedroom. It has been five years since he left and now he's back. When he left he was barely 19 fresh out of Hogwarts after the defeat of Voldemort, now he was 22 and he was finally at home.

The room was awfully tidy then he thought it would be. A long ray of sun came in from the window and room illuminated with its dusk light. With a loud thud his trunk found its place by the bed. He was dead tired but he knew that sleep was not an option, at least not before he'll take a shower because stench was controlling him throughout his journey back to England.

An hour later he was clean and his eyes were bloodshot red. He slumped on the bed without taking off the covers. He was one dream away from the perfect slumber when he heard his apartment doors crack open.

"Hello? Is someone in here?" he jumped of the bed took a hold of his wand and walked in quiet steps to his bedroom door. "Harry? Are you in here?" suddenly familiarity hit him and a small smile crept to his lips.

"Ronald!" he pushed the door open and saw his redhead best friend face for the first time in three years. "Good to see you, mate."

"Good to see you too." The tone of his voice was serious and much tired to his like. His eyes didn't twinkle as they had back when they were in school. "Put something on yourself, Harry, I have to take you to the Burrow." he sighed heavily as he the confusion on Harry's face. "Just do as I say, you can ask questions as soon as we get to the Burrow." Harry shrugged and walked back to his bedroom and was ready to go in no longer then five minutes.

When they apparted on the yard surrounding the Weasley residents it was already after sunset and the sky had a deep violet color with a few sparkling stars. They walked in silence to the back door of the house and into the Mrs. Weasley kitchen. Harry inhaled the home made cooking smell and his stomach clenched.

"Sit." Ordered him Ron and he set. Ron walked over to one of the kitchen's cabinet and took out two plats and two mugs. It took a few moments but in the end he handed Harry a plat full of Mrs. Weasley best cooking and hot cup of tea. "Let's eat first and then talk. I had a long day." Harry didn't say another word and he stuffed his mouth with food. After long minutes of only eating sounds Ron broke the peaceful silence. "She tried to kill herself. Ginny I mean. Ginny tried to kill herself."

A smashing sound rocked the quiet kitchen as Harry dropped his mug and looked at Ron with wide open eyes. "Is she…is she…….is she…." He couldn't say it he was afraid that if he'll say it it'll become the truth.

"Dead? No. Dad and I got to her on time." he was full of remorse and looked down at his shoes. "Things weren't so good since you been gone."

"How did it happen? When did it happen?" a pain spread in Harry's chest and he was out of breath but he didn't mind, he wanted to hear what happened to Ginny.

"After you left Ginny sank into a very deep depression, she was closed up in her room and wrote in that notebook pf hers. She didn't come out unless she had to take a shower or go to the bathroom, she hardly ever ate and when she did only in her room. It went like this for over a year until one day she walked down to dinner like nothing happened." He looked up at Harry's agonized face and smiled a small sad smile. "It was like having Ginny all over again, she made jokes, laughed with me and the twins helped Mum with the dishes and talked with Hermione about the latest books. It went like this for a couple of months, Ginny looked healthier then ever she was smiling she looked for a job she even agreed to Mum's pleadings and allowed her and Hermione to set her up with guys." Then Ron looked down sighed heftily and coughed lightly. "One night we all went to this important party at the Ministry but Ginny said she wasn't feeling well and was excused from going, we didn't suspect anything because we thought she was okay. When we got back from the party the house was dead quiet and when we called her name she didn't answered. Dad decided to go and see if she's asleep and I went with him." Suddenly Ron choked on his words and cleared his throat. "We found her lying in her bed with her wrists sliced open there was blood all over the place. We rushed her to St.Mungo's. She was barley saved." A single tear trickled on his freckled cheek and sniffed to stop the rest of them. He got up from his seat and poured himself more tea. He kept on sniffing and pulling his nose.

"It's called euphoria." Harry said softly and stared at his mug. Pictures of him and Ginny ran before his eyes. Ron set in front of him and drank slowly from his mug. "When someone decides to commit suicide they enter to this state of total euphoria and pretend like they're okay and well they look perfectly fine thus because they know that their pain will be gone soon."

"That's what the Healers in St.Mungo's told us when we brought hr there." Ron licked his lips and took another sip from the tea. "They recommend us to have her stay in the hospital for surveillance. Mum agreed and Ginny's there ever since."

"How is she now? Is there any problems now?"

"She refuse to see Mum, blames her for putting her in the first place. We try to see her often as we can, Bill and Charlie visit her whenever they come and the twins can't handle it very well but when they come she's a lot better. Dad, Hermione and I see her more then anyone. I see her almost everyday because I work there."

"You're a Healer? Since when? When I left you started Auror School."

"I changed my mind, I wanted to help Ginny and I like it, it as important as being an Auror. Never mind me though, how are you?"

"I'm fine." He paused for a moment and took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, Harry never felt this old in his entire life. He was exhausted yet a sudden rush of adrenalin ran through his veins. "I want to see her. Now."

"It's after visiting hours. You'll have to wait for tomorrow, I'm sorry." His voice flat like he memorized it for this exact moment.

"You work there I can come with you and if they won't let me in all I'll have to is 'I'm Harry Potter' and show them my scar." Ron considered him for a moment and saw that he was dead serious. "You know it will work."

"You really want to see her?" Harry nodded and paused for a moment then looked at Ron again in response Ron starched his neck and got up. "Alright then."

The hospital was dim when the two apparted in. Ron said hello to every co-worker they so on the way, surprisingly none of them asked him where he headed to or who was the gentleman with him.

"They're used to having me here on this kind of hours, I like this time the best." Harry half smiled at him he was edgy then ever. Flashes of identical white and cold corridors ran in his mind he felt his T-shirt stick to his back because of his cold sweat, his heart beat raced and his breath was quick and sharp. "You're a little pale, are you sure you want to-?"

"I'm sure, Ron, I'm sure." But was he really? Was he prepared for what he may see? Every fiber of his body told him yes.

Ron showed him the way in through the doors with label **_SPELL DAMAGE_** and smiled an ironic smile at Harry. "It's the only place resemble to a muggle madhouse, we had a few thoughts about sending her there but Dad and I insisted to let her stay in her natural environment." Harry winced at the word madhouse but Ron didn't seem to notice. They walked in echoing steps through the corridor; here and there they were able to hear murmurs and sighs of nightmares from the rooms. Harry held his hands in a fist shape and his nails bore holes in the palms of his hands.

Finally Ron stopped in front of the last door in ward's corridor. He turned and faced Harry. "She's probably asleep by now but its okay if you want to sit with her and watch her, Dad do it a lot." He moved foreword and opened the door quietly it cracked softly. "I'll give you your privacy." He moved aside and showed Harry the way in.

With slow steps Harry walked in to the dark room. He heard her soft respires from where he stood. He saw her bed standing alone in the big room by the only window. It was a bigger window then the one Mr. Weasley had in his room back when Harry was in fifth year. "It must have been Ron that pulled a few stands for her to have the room with the biggest window." Harry thought to himself as he made a few more steps. He now saw her body on the bed. Two more steps were made. Her hair was the first thing he saw. It was vibrantly red and sprawled on her pillow in soft waves and curls. He was three steps away from her when he turned around and walked quickly out of the room.

"Let's go." He said to Ron coldly and paced as fast as he can away from the ward.

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Please review. It will make me happy and encourage me to post the next chapter sooner.

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	3. Season of the Witch

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: first I'm gonna thank to those who bothered and reviewed. Second I won't update because I'll be busy in reading and re-reading HBP so don't even think about another chapter in the next week or so. That's all I think so enjoy!

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Chapter Three

Season of the Witch

Harry was never fond of his birthday simply for the reason that nothing good ever happened on it. The best birthday he was able to think of was the one on the summer before his forth year but it was only thanks to having Sirius after that it went all down hill. Even now while having his 22nd birthday celebrated he felt miserable. Perhaps he was destined to be forever unhappy. He surly believed it.

"How are you, Harry dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley. When he first met the Weasley's after his return and after his talk with Ron and the so-called visit at Ginny he saw how much everyone have aged. None of the Weasley clan had that familiar spark in their eyes not even Fred and George.

"I'm fine Mrs. Weasley." He smiled at her warmly as she helped him with another piece of birthday cake.

"That's nice, fine is good." That was another signature sign of the new Molly Weasley she stopped interfering in her children's lives and took the _'normal'_ Mum course. Harry wasn't sure what the _'normal'_ course was but he sure didn't like it.

He wasn't very sure what_ normal _was anymore. Whatever it was he wanted it go away.

"Your birthday is in a few days." Hermione brushed Ginny's hair and started braiding it as Ginny stared at the view from the window. "Is there something you want?"

"You know what I want, Hermione." She turned her head and looked up with pleading eyes. "Please?"

"I'm sorry Ginny, but the Healers say you haven't proved that you aren't a danger to yourself anymore."

"I've been proving myself throughout this entire time!" she got up from her seat and faced Hermione. "What more do you want me to do? What?"

"Maybe if you agree to see your Mum-"

Don't mention that _woman_ in front of me-" "

"She's your mother Ginny-"

"She's the reason I'm here in the first place!"

"No Ginny, You're the reason for being here."

"Get out!" the redhead hissed and pointed at the door. "Are deaf? Get out."

"Don't do that Ginny."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET HER OUT OF HERE! GET HERE OUT!" she ran out of the room and roamed in a fake panic in the corridors. "Help me! Ronnie! Daddy! GET HER PUT OF HERE!" soon enough a crowd of healers was surrounding her but she kept on screaming. "Ron! I want Ron! RONNIE!" Hermione tried to reason them but they wouldn't here it. Finally, Ron approached them panting from running down to the ward and he walked straight to Ginny and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Ron listen to me, she's okay-"

"Get her out! Take her away! Please Ronnie! GET HER OUT!"

"She's faking this whole thing, Ron-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MAKE HER LEAVE!"

"Don't tell me you're buying this-"

"She's sick Hermione! And you staying here make it all worse." He yelled at his wife of a mere six months. "Just leave. Leave." He glared daggers at her and watched her leave. "Shhh…I'm here Ginny. I'm here." Ginny hiccupped to his chest and hold on to him tight.

Hermione moved out that day and crashed in Harry's apartment. At first Harry thought it would interrupt him having Hermione especially because he knew that she would start asking questions and inquiring him about where he goes at night or why does he have all those medicines in his cabinet but she didn't and Harry was glad she didn't. She had enough troubles on her head alone and Harry knew that if she won't reconcile with Ron soon there will be another resident in his already small apartment.

"Reading again?" he asked her fondly and set on the free space on the sofa where she cuddled.

"I don't have anything else to do. I would have suggested making dinner for us but you know what happed once I take out the meat from the fridge." She smiled at him an apologizing smile. "Thanks again for taking me in. I didn't plan on being a burden on you."

"You're not a burden Hermione and besides it's nice to have someone here other then Me." he reassured her and got up from the sofa and walked towards the kitchen and began making dinner.

After making sure Hermione was sound asleep and past her night sickness Harry walked out of the apartment and disapparted in the dark alley by the building. Split of a second later he was at St.Mungo's waiting room and made his way down to the **SPELL DAMAGE** floor and on to Ginny's ward and from there to her room.

As he did everyday Harry paced for more then and hour before had enough courage and confidence to enter the room. He walked slowly in the silent gloomy room before he saw the edge of Ginny's bed.

"Don't be shy Harry you can come closer." She said furtively as she watched him freeze on the spot. "I won't bite, I promise." He walked over to her and faced her for the first time in almost three and a half years.

"Ginny I thought…how did you…?

"Know you're coming here every night for the past six month? I have my sources."

Harry glared at his shoes as his mouth went dry and moved her legs of the bed. He looked up and saw her gazing at him with her usual _"Ginny look"_.

"I have to say but you don't look-"

"Suicidal?"

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You know you want to…you think I'm clever…you want to review!

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	4. As Time Goes By

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter but I do own this fic so just sit back and read the damn fic!

A/N: first I'm gonna thank to those who bothered and reviewed. Second I won't update because I'll be busy in reading and re-reading HBP so don't even think about another chapter in the next week or so. That's all I think so enjoy!

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Chapter Four

As Time Goes By

Her eyes was Blazing with emotions as she drank his appearance before her. There were minor changes in it, he was a bit taller thinner then he left and he had a strange aura surrounding him. She felt shivers down her spins when their eyes met.

"I wasn't going to say suicidal-"

"Then what were you going to say, Harry? Crazy? Deranged? Disturbed? Or just plain insane?"

"I wasn't going to say none of this!"

"Of course you weren't. You're too nice and honorable to say something like that in front of poor little sick Ginny!"

"Is that what you think of me? Because if you do then must be insane…"

"Insanity brought me here." Her voice was cold as her stare she turned away from him and set on bed.

"I'm sorry Ginny I didn't mean to say that."

"Yes you did or else you wouldn't have said it." She looked down at her bare feet and felt his weight on the bed's mattress.

"How did you know I was coming here every night?"

"I woke up that night you came with Ron and heard the two of you talked outside." she smiled a small and bashful smile to herself and yet she never looked up to look at him. "I thought you would've notice it a few weeks ago when I wore the necklace you left on the bedside the night before as a birthday present."

"I was always a tad daft."

"Perpetually thick." She knew he must have been giving her an odd look. "I have a lot of free time reading."

She was always beautiful in his eyes but now as he watches her he knows that no one can be as beautiful as she is with her smooth marble skin that glowed in the moonlight or her long soft locks which are redder then his own blood but most of all Harry loved her eyes. Her big chocolate orbs. If they say that eyes are the window to the soul then Ginny's were the doors to her heart and mind.

He longed to hold her, to touch her, to feel her body against his, to breathe her. She was all he had in the past three and a half years perhaps not physically but in his dreams, in his hopes. She was the only thing that kept him sane.

"What are you thinking about? You look so serious." Her voice was slightly mocking but curios as always. "Let me guess…Quidditch? No, how about Voldemort? Nah he's dead as Percy's jokes-"

"You, I'm thinking about you Ginny." He got off the bed and stood in front of her. "I'm thinking about your smile, your laugh, your cry." He came closer to her and reached out his hand and trailed with his long fingers on her bare arms. He noted that he can still make her quivered with Goosebumps.

She closed her eyes from the pleasure of his touch and panted as his other hand traveled to the bottom her nightgown and brought it up to her mid thigh. She then felt his warm lips connect with her collarbone and to her neck from there to her jaw line and finally with her lips. They kissed passionately and hungrily as his hands traveled her body and she explored his. He lowered his head to her upper body and kissed her breasts with need and a groan came from him but she pulled him back to her lips and captured his lips with hers to a violent kiss. She felt his hands go up her thighs and spread them to allow him more access.

She was on the verge of mental explosion when she all of a sudden pushed him away. Her lips where swollen and her whole body was on fire. She knew for sure that she was flushed red and messy. "Leave me alone." Her eyes were stinging but she won't allow them to water.

"I won't. I can't. I need you too much." He approached her again but she rejected his touch. "I miss you."

"Get away from me Harry, I swear-" but he cut her off with his lips yet again she pushed him away. "Stop it! Stop doing this to me! You can't play those stupid sick games anymore!"

"I'm not playing anything Ginny. I love you." He captured her head with his hands. "I love you." He kissed her softly. "I can't live without you." He kissed her once again this time she responded to his lips. "There's no me without you." They melted in each other lips and then to each other embrace.

"Please Harry." she whispered achingly to his mouth. "Leave me alone." She released a small cry let go his touch. "Get out of here. Go away."

His heart yelled in pain but he silenced it when he made his way out of the room. He stopped at the threshold and turn to look at her teary beautiful face. "If only you knew…"

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I know it wasn't an easy one maybe a little smutty maybe not enough smutty in don't know. You can review and tell me.

_**SnowFlakeGinny! **_


	5. Mr Sandmen Lend Me a Dream

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter but I do own this fic so just sit back and enjoy.

**A/N: **I'm sorry if you're going to hate this chapter but I'm depressed and it's showing in here…it's shorter then the rest but I like it that way…

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Chapter Five

Mr. Sandmen Lend Me a Dream

His heart was throbbing in his ribcage the pain was spreading all over his body as he laid on his bed. He shut his eyes so hard that he felt his eye balls being pushed inside his skull. Questions and images ran in his mind. Was it that he wasn't paying enough attention? Or wasn't he giving enough affection? Another pang of pain shot threw his body. This time it was far stronger then the ones before.

"AHHHH!" he heard his voice echo in his bedroom but he felt like it wasn't his body on fire. In agony. "AHHHHHHH!"

He saw Dumbledore begging for his life as Snape draw his wand then it changed and he saw Sirius falling through the veil and then it stabilized in a picture that hunted him frequently, Ginny curled up on the floor crying and begging for him to stay and then a new one it was Ginny again but she was lying on her bed with her wrists sliced open and blood gushing on her body.

"No Please! Take it! Take it away from me!" he twisted and turned in his soaking sweaty covers. "ARRRRRRGGGGGGGG! MAKE IT STOP!" he felt his own blood gushing out of his veins.

A sound of hurried footsteps and the bedroom door opened with a loud bang as Hermione rushed in and found him twitching violently in his bed. "Harry?" she said in awe struck whisper and approached him with precaution. "Harry I'm going to get help."

"NO!" and he grabbed her arm in a firm grip and opened his eyes. "No!" he tightened his grip on her arm bolted from his wet covers. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I…Harry I heard you scream." She swallowed hard and tried to release her arm from his hold. "And then I came and I saw you I thought you were having a seizure or something."

"I don't need your help!" he freed her arm and got up from the bed. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"Harry please, I'm just trying to help you." She fallowed him as he made his way to the bathroom. "I can't bear to hear you scream like that almost every night why won't you let talk to someone-" but before she could finish her sentence Harry shut the bathroom door in her face.

He washed his face in the sink. The cool water helped his boiling body to relax and he stood up to look at himself in the mirror. He had bags under his eyes completed with black circulars. He was losing weight again and the color that he regained was not there once more.

He slowly opened the medicine cabinet and took out the all too familiar small bottle and slowly opened it. He took out two little white pills and stared at them. "I thought I got rid of you, I guess you're here to stay aren't you?" he spoke in a hoarse broken voice. "You couldn't leave me alone? I was finally on the right track and on the night I finally get that one chance and blew it you claim your spot." He wanted to crash those two little pills to feel his hand close on them and to crash them and then to feel his fingernails dig in his flash. Just to know that he was alive.

"Well, a long time ago we used to be friends." He had an ironic smile the one that only people of his _kind_ were allowed to have, so he thought. "You missed me didn't you? Admit it." He waited for an answer. "I forgot, pills aren't supposed to speak but its okay. You're among friends." He smiled again and then in a quick movement he took the pills inside his mouth and bucked his head to help himself to swallow better.

He washed his face once more and when he felt he was ready he unlocked the door and opened it to find Hermione finishing changing his sheets and covers. "It's okay Hermione, you can go back to bed I'm fine now." he smiled at her but she shuddered at it.

"Are you sure because if not I can take you to St.Mungo's." but Harry shushed her and showed her the way out.

"I'm fine don't worry it's not good for you to worry not in your condition." And he rubbed her stomach. "Now go to bed I'll be okay and thank you."

"Are absolutely positive-"

"I am now goodnight." And he shut the door behind her and retrieved to his newly made bed. "I'm finally fine, Hermione. Never better." He said in shallow voice and fell to dreamless sleep.

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**A/N:** thank you for reading I really appreciate it.

**Schatje**

**Ginny Fan**

**nixtear**

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	6. Last Call for the Broken Hearted

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter but I do own several shirts and pants that have the Harry Potter logo…just kidding I own absolutely nothing! And no I don't have any Harry Potter shirts or pants…pity….

**A/N:** jumping jacks! I haven't updated this fic for way too long and it's actually my personal favorite…I love dark stuff…anyway thank you for being patient and didn't send a flying curse at me.

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**_Chapter Six_**

**_Last Call for the Broken Hearted_**

"Where did we stop last time?"

"I talked about my brothers and then you nosily insisted to ask irrelevant questions about my mother and me." She said dully and played with the quills lying on his desk. "Which is still none of your business so don't bother to ask me again."

"Why did you try to kill yourself?"

"How do you come up with these questions?"

"I'm a therapist Ms. Weasley it's my job to ask questions."

"Aren't you a healer?"

"Yes I'm a Healer but I took and extra time and studied muggle Psychology and you always answer my questions with another questions."

"Why would I ever do that?"

"Distract me so I'll forget the question I ask you which you still haven't answered."

"Remind me what the question was again." she smiled an angel like smile. "I tend to forget things."

"I asked you why you tried to commit suicide."

"You know you're the first person to ask me that question?" she looked at him with her big coffee colored eyes. "Even my brother Ron who works here never asked me that, not even once since he brought me here."

"Distracting or running away from the subject won't help neither of us."

"You're so much like Hermione sometimes that it makes me want to toss something at you."

"Hermione is Ron's wife, your best friend?"

"You can say that but we haven't talked in a while."

"You had a fight?"

"Sort of, you can that most of it was my fault."

"Was she visiting you on a regular basis, before you had the fight?"

"Yes." Ginny's leg began to move fast and she felt very uncomfortable. "Why do I have to talk about her?"

"I understand that you had an episode as a result of your fight that led to Hermione leaving you brother." He tried to find her eyes but she avoided him and twitched in her seat. "Do you feel responsible?"

"Of course I do but it's her fault I had to fake the episode and get Ron to take her away."

"Why is it her fault?"

"She was being nosy and I hate nosy people." She saw by his expression that he was dissatisfied with her answer. "She wanted me to let my mother visit and didn't give up even after I said no."

"You said you faked an episode to get your brother to take her away you do it often to push people away or to get what you want?"

"What? Are you crazy?" her eyes bulged and spat angrily. "I had to fake it or else she would have made me to allow my mother to come."

"How was your relationship with your mother before you were to be hospitalized in here?"

"It was a normal mother daughter relationship."

"Define normal."

"We fight, we laugh and she takes care of when I'm sick, I help her around the house, and she always defends me when one of my brothers teases me or not allowing me to join them for a Quidditch game, you know this kind of stuff."

"You're talking about her in present time while in reality you haven't exchanged a word with her for almost two years." He smiled at her a knowing smile. "Have you ever fought with her?"

"Almost every day it wouldn't be normal if we hadn't." she gazed at an invisible spot on the wall. "But we always forgive each other. She's the only mother I'll ever get and we love each other."

"Then why aren't you willing to forgive her this time?"

"Because she thinks I'm not healthy for myself and that I put myself in danger because of my overly emotional reaction when Harry left three years ago."

"How did you react to Harry's departure?"

"Naturally I didn't want him to leave." She sighed heavily and went on. "I was afraid I'd lose him again."

"Again?"

"Yeah again. He left me once to go after Voldemort and fulfill his destiny." She rolled her eyes and this and continued. "I had to let him go the first time but the second time was just stupid and unreasonable."

"Unreasonable in what way?"

"He was done with chasing the bad guy and it was the right time for us to have our chance."

"Sounds kind of selfish don't you think?"

"Selfish how? By wanting to make him happy? To make him stop living a hunted life? That's not selfish one bit that's love, that's caring for someone!" her eyes were roaring fire as she bawled at him. "Selfish is when you leave because of a stupid "_opportunity_" over seas and leaving everyone you love shattered into pieces and letting them fall deeper and deeper to despair until they're own family turn against them and then to show up like nothing happened!"

"Do you hate Harry for leaving you?"

"Why should I hate him?"

"He was being selfish wasn't he? He left for his own good and everything crashed down as you just described so ardently."

"That doesn't mean I should hate him." She felt all confused all of a sudden but recollected herself soon enough. "I'm might be angry at him I could never hate him."

"Then why do you hate your mother? And you can't say that what she did was out selfishness since what she did was for you and for your own safety."

"I never said I hate either but what she did is unforgivable. I was fine! I was doing perfectly fine-"

"Trying to kill yourself, Ginny, isn't something that should be labeled as fine-"

"So I had a rough time that doesn't mean I needed her to commit me here!"

"It means, Ginny, that you were crying for help-"

"I didn't want any help!"

"No, you needed it."

Ginny opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish several times but not one sound came out. She fell to her seat defeated and decided that her shirt sleeves were much more interesting then looking at the man opposite her. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel like she wants to run back home to the Burrow to her mummy and tell her to punish the mean man in front of her because all he did was telling the truth? A small hot bubble erupted in her chest. For the first time in approximately ten years she called her mother mummy even if it was only in her head. A warm tear trickled on her cheek. She touched it slowly carefully as if that tear was a precious treasure and a small sob escaped her throat and she buried her head between her hands to avoid unnecessary eye contact and even more unwanted sympathy.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked Harry as he set by the breakfast table serving him with some bacon and eggs. "You got me worried all week." She smiled warmly at him as he ate. All of her mother senses had kicked in once her last trimester began two weeks ago.

"Sorry about that, Herms." He said in a full mouth and swallowed hard to talk better. "You know me. At the end of it I'll be okay." He placed his hand over hers gave her the most sincere look she ever saw. "I know how to handle it this time."

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**A/N:** gives you something to think about if you know how to look at things from different angles.

Thank you for reviewing the previous chapter:

**1x1pEngUIn89**

**Ginny Fan**

**Perkey Terkey**

**Caity**

**Brittiny27**

**the-insufferable-know-it-all**

Okay guys your turn to do the trick and review!

_**SnowFlakeGinny!**_


	7. Take Off Your Mask

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter but I do own this fic so just sit back and

Enjoy.

**A/N: **I can't say anything beside sorry but I have a lot on my mind with school and everything so I'm sorry if updates are taking time. Just be happy with this one for now but my term finals and ending soon and I'm off to the holydays so I'll time to update.

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**_Chapter Seven_**

**_Take Off Your Mask_**

All alone she stood by her magical window, gazing at what should reflect the weather outside. It was a foggy night with the moon looming behind the black clouds. A creepy chill ran down her spine and she exhaled heavily like a drowning person being pulled out from the water at the last second before he sinks and give in to death. A hand all of a sudden made contact with her neck from behind. It was warm and consulting against her marble like cold skin.

"You're back," she whispered in disbelieve. "You came back." The hand caressed her neck slowly and she leaned her head back. "You're here."

"I thought you wanted me away." He said quietly to her ear. "You sent me away last time I was here." He sneaked his other hand to her waist and held her tight against his body.

"I did." She moaned out as his hand made contact with her middle stomach. "I don't now." She closed her eyes and felt his lips swiftly brush soft kisses on the back of her neck and shoulder.

"I want to see you." He whispered and without waiting for her to answer he turned her around to face him. "Beautiful Ginny," He said to her stroked her face with his finger. "My beautiful Ginny." He noticed a single hot tear on her cheek and whipped it. "Don't cry Ginny," he whipped another tear that came from her closed eyes. "I don't want to agonise you again."

"I can't stop, Harry." She said trembling with cry. "Please, make it stop." She opened and saw him mirroring her tears. "Harry?"

"I'm sorry, Gin, I'm so sorry." He cried silently as he kept caressing her face. "I really am sorry." He cupped her face and kissed her with despair leading his instincts.

"What are you sorry about?" she asked against his lips. "Tell me, Harry?"

"I'm sorry I left you, Ginny." He broke the kiss and stared at her chestnut brown eyes. "I'm sorry but I had to."

"What are you talking about?"

"I took that offer to play Quidditch in America to get away from here, Gin." He said harshly to her. "I couldn't stand another minuet in England after the final battle." He saw her eyes round up and stare at him with confusion. "I'm not that strong Ginny."

"Of course you are strong Harry, you vanquished Voldemort you won the war." she said, "You're the strongest person I've ever known-"

"I'm weak Ginny." He interrupted her words. "I ran away-"

"-that's understandable everyone has a rough time but that doesn't make you weak, Harry!"

"I tired to commit suicide, Ginny!" he held her frozen and tense in his arms as she look at him with a frightened expression. "I tired to kill myself, Gin, I wanted to die."

She stared at him for a couple of long minuets and then burst into tears. Each sob's louder then the one before. She released herself from his hold and fell to the floor crying even harder.

"Why?" she asked in a chocked up voice as she kept crying to her hands.

"The doctors at the asylum said I was suffering from depression."

"You were in a madhouse?" she looked up and saw him nodding his head. "But why?"

"Four months to my stay in America I was fired from the team because I was too risky and always late, terrible nightmares throughout the night are not good for you when you have stand in for practices at 8 o'clock in the morning, I began taking pills and preformed cheering charms but it really didn't help me for the time being so I thought that maybe killing myself would be the solution." He was indifferent to her small whimpers during his confession but now he saw that she was still crying and avoiding his looks. "I'm not perfect Ginny-"

"No one is, Harry"

"Are you okay, Gin?"

"I'll be okay, don't worry." Her voice still quivered with tears but she managed to pull the strength to get up from the floor. "Are you coming?" she asked him as she reached out her hand and helped him from the floor.

"Coming where?"

She smiled lovingly at him as she led him to her bed where he wrapped a strong arm around her frail figure and fell to a peaceful sleep at last.

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**A/N:** okay so next chapter will probably be the last one, so please you're welcome to review.

I want to thank:

**Perkey Terkey **

**magicslifer**

**James1110**

Thanks for reviewing! I love you guys!

**_SnowFlakeGinny! _**


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